Empower Your Kids: 5 Proven Ways to Cultivate Confidence in Children 8 to 12

Character Building: Preteens 3 min read
Confidence is intentionally cultivated
Photographer: Alexander Grey | Source: Unsplash

As an uncle, I strive to help my brother and sister raise confident and capable little ones.

It takes a village, right?

I also know, there’s an Infinite source of well-being for all kids to experience this. We just have to decide collectively to direct our attention, energy, and actions towards that end.

As a parent, you want this for your kid too.

To be well adjusted human is to want others to:

  • believe in themselves, and
  • have the courage to face challenges head-on.
Building confidence in children is a lifelong process, and it's especially crucial during their formative years, from ages 8 to 12.

At this age they’re:

  • developing their sense of self
  • discovering their unique strengths
  • going through unique challenges and
  • transitioning into new identities.

Here are 5 proven ways you can empower your kids and cultivate confidence during this critical stage of development:


1. Encourage Independence to Build Self-Confidence

Give your child opportunities for independence.
This allows them to develop a sense of autonomy and self-reliance.

Encourage them to make their own decisions and own the consequences. An example is:

  • choosing their extracurricular activities, or
  • planning a family outing.

Provide guidance when needed, but allow them the freedom to take ownership of their choices (And the consequences of those choices.)


The greatest thing you can give a child is confidence. ~ Gail Porter
The greatest thing you can give a child is confidence. ~ Gail Porter

2. Nurture Their Interests

Support your child's passions by providing opportunities for them
to explore and pursue their interests.

Whether it's music, sports, art, or science,
help them find resources and activities that align with their passions.

By nurturing their interests, you're showing them you:

  • believe in their abilities, and
  • give them the confidence to pursue their joy.

Confidence in kids is nurtured through consistent encouragement, setting achievable goals, embracing mistakes as learning opportunities, and promoting independence.
Confidence in kids is nurtured through consistent encouragement, setting achievable goals, embracing mistakes as learning opportunities, and promoting independence.

3. Foster Resilience through Challenges

Challenges are an essential part of building resilience and confidence in children.

Encourage your child to take on new challenges that push them out of their comfort zone but are still within reach.

Help them set realistic goals and
celebrate small victories along the way.

When they encounter setbacks or failures, teach them how to bounce back by focusing on lessons learned rather than dwelling on mistakes.

Remember, how you think through a circumstance will be the same way your child will through a circumstance in the future.


There's a lot of talk these days about giving children self-esteem. Its not something you can give: its something they have to build. ~ Randy Pausch

4. Promote Positive Self-Talk and Mindset

The way children talk to themselves
can greatly impact their self-confidence.

Teach your child the power of positive self-talk by
encouraging them to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
(I know the perfect book that can help you do this 😉)

Help them recognize their strengths and accomplishments,
especially in the face of adversity.

By fostering a growth mindset, you're instilling in them the belief that they have the ability to improve and overcome challenges through effort and perseverance.

Ariel, my niece giving a big thumbs up! I’m proud of who she’s become.

5. Provide a Supportive Environment for Confidence

Creating a supportive environment is crucial for building confidence in children. Your child will face challenges, yet if they know they are supported, this can make a world of difference.

Be an active listener when your child shares their thoughts and feelings, providing empathy and understanding.

Validate their emotions and offer guidance or solutions when appropriate. Show unconditional love and acceptance, emphasizing that mistakes are opportunities for growth rather than reasons for shame.


In Conclusion

Remember, building confidence is an ongoing process
that requires a parents:

  • patience, consistency, and support.

By implementing these 5 strategies into your parenting approach, you can empower your kids to develop a strong sense of self-worth and navigate life's challenges with resilience.


You can help your children cultivate a robust self-esteem and effectively handle the obstacles that come their way.
self-worth positive psychology