Returning to Trust in Young Adulthood: Rebuilding Connections for a Fulfilling Life

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship—with friends, family, and most importantly ourselves.

However, many young adulthoods find themselves living fractured lives of mistrust.

This then leads to loneliness.

With high tension around the world, let’s reflect on the importance of trust, and see how we can rebuild connections to live a more fulfilling life.

Now More Than Ever We Need the Power of Trust

There’s a saying, "We don't trust what we don't know." And there’s a whole lot in the universe we don’t know.

It’s this ‘space in-between’ what we know, where the mistrust is formed.

It’s where we assume; where we think we know an answer, even before a question is asked. It’s shaped by our experiences and interactions with others.

Unfortunately, these experiences can lead to jaded beliefs about the world around us.

It’s here where fear is formed and we become guarded. If it’s not addressed, this fear festers into mistrust, and eventually result in continual disappointment and cynicism.

Interestingly, and unfortunately, this is accentuated by the social media algorithms most people willfully feast on daily. The ‘algo’ accentuates and skew the masses already implicit biases.

What if we approached trust from a different perspective?

Trust is not just blindly believing in others.

Then, what is it?

Let’s briefly look at 3 ideas about trust.

1. Trust is essential for personal growth and meaningful relationships.
2. We gain trust from the information we know (and that may even be wrong). Now what do we do with the information we DON’T know?
3. How can we develop trust in others and ourselves?

Finding Connection Through Shared Interests

One way to cultivate trust in young adulthood is by seeking out and growing with communities that share our interests and passions.

These communities provide familiar spaces where like-minded individuals come together, often working towards solving a problem, and it’s there that we support one another in the effort.

Here’s a personal example.

I find solace and connection within the fitness community here in Chiang Mai. And of course, as with joining something new, our confidence with each other didn’t start there.

Trust is built over time.

As you show up day after day with your developing character, you’ll soon discover genuine connections built on mutual respect and encouragement. Of course, that’s provided you surround yourself with such people.

This is especially true when you are in a ‘shared struggle’.

You push each other beyond your limits while providing support along the way.

That said, be careful to avoid sitting with:

• cynics,
• gossipers and
• fear-mongers.

The Role of Critical Thinking

While it's important to embrace trust in our lives, it's equally crucial to approach it with wisdom and critical thinking.

Blindly trusting everyone without discernment can leave you vulnerable to manipulation or harm.

Therefore, it's essential to strike a balance between trust and caution.

Givers and Takers. Who Fails and Succeeds?

In his book, Givers and Takers, Adam Grant outlines three people:

• Givers: people who unselfishly help others without expecting anything in return.
• Takers: people who try to obtain more out of their social interactions than they give in return, putting their own interests first.
• Matchers: people who try to find balance between giving and taking.

One key concept from the book is finding other givers worth working with.

Critical thinking allows us to evaluate objectively to decide whom we choose to trust. If we start to direct our efforts into the work of other ‘givers’ who are moving towards our shared goals, this will leverage our efforts to create the world we want to live in.

How do you critically think and find the other givers?

• ask questions,
• seek evidence, and
• analyze the intentions and actions of ourselves and others.

Finally...

Recognize and Acknowledge Your Own Implicit Biases

Here you will find true refinement of your character.

An important step towards creating a more inclusive and equitable society is starting with yourself.

You must accept the fact that ‘you are bias’.

Yes, you...reading this.

Now, this doesn’t lead to self-doubt.

Rather, be confident in what you hold to be true, while still informed. To recognize your implicit bias, it requires self-reflection and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about yourselves.

You, and everyone has a fractured perspective of the whole. This means you have a limited understanding of what is possible to know.

Some of these limitations you know, and some of them you don’t know.

And hey...find no judgment in exploring those thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. You’re worthy of being even with your implicit bias.

We learn, reiterate, and be better, not bitter.

By becoming aware of our implicit biases, we can actively challenge them and work towards being more fair-minded and open-minded individuals.

It is an ongoing process that requires continuous:

• education,
• introspection, and
• engagement with diverse perspectives.

You can avoid falling into the trap of mistrust, and instead, foster healthy connections based on genuine understanding and shared values.

The Call for Action: Look for It, and Amplify It

In conclusion, returning to trust in adulthood is crucial for rebuilding connections that have been fractured by mistrust.

It requires us to challenge our jaded beliefs about the world and recognize that there is some truth in the present moment hindering us from creating the fulfilling lives we desire.

As Mr. Rogers wisely said, “Look for those who help,”
and let's not forget to add a heroic touch:

“Help those who help others.”

Let's collectively break free from our chains of disconnection, caused by fractured lives of mistrust.

Actively seek out and contribute to communities that:

• share your interests,
• engage in critical thinking, and
• approach trust with wisdom.

By doing so, we can pave the way for deeper connections and a more fulfilling life.